What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I would fuck him just for his dog
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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