im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
did i just pee glitter
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
