Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
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