Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
