Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
