Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
