you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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