I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
