Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
