Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
