You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
