Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
