I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
