hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
