I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
