I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
