its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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