I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
