just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
