Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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