Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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