Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
