Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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