Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
