why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
