Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Are we still banned from the library?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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