I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize
