im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
