First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I am available for nakedness
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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