Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
