I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
