dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Randomize
