I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
