Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
