I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
