Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
