I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
