Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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