David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
