she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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