I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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