no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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