why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
