that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
