i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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