Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
this is an emotional support booty call
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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