Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
