Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
