Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
