she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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